5 Ways To Prove You’re Really In Love!
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So, you’ve found the man of your dreams. It may have taken years of listening to dates drone on about which fast-food french fry is the tastiest and dozens of awkward hand sessions in the front seat of your Camry, but finally, you’ve found him. The two of you are now living in wedded bliss. But here comes the tough part: how do you prove to the world that this man loves you? Not just “likes a post about your new job on Facebook” loves you, but Montague to your Capulet loves you. Since it would be nearly impossible to Instagram a pic of your double suicide, here are some great ways to show your single friends that YES, he loves you, okay???
1. Professional photographs to commemorate the moment.
Sure, that moment might be “MAKE SURE YOUR HAIR ISN’T PARTED TO THE LEFT!” and “I have to look at WHICH tree branch?” But those photos will forever prove to your sassy single friends that the two of you are indeed in love. And nothing says “love” like forced time together and paying someone to capture it! Having trouble finding a reputable photographer that will shoot grown adults? Never fear, your amateur photographer friend (don’t pretend you don’t have one) will do it for a discount! Hey, hopefully that friend is single so you can rub all that love in her face while she’s posing you and your man into a loving embrace from behind on a bridge. Look at his overjoyed expression (because that’s all he’ll ever get from behind)! Don’t forget the trademark obligatory Eskimo kiss. Now you’ll always remember the Greek salad with extra olives he had for lunch that day! Awwww!
2. A joint email account shows the world how much you trust each other.
Nothing says “I trust you 100%” more than making sure you know every single correspondence that comes through your soul-mate’s life! Accepting invitations to a party? Make sure it’s from JoeAndJessica4Ever@aol.com! That will make the married hostess re-examine HER life. How dare she have a single Gmail account with her name in it? Her love must be on the rocks. Make sure in the RSVP you let her know that “we’re here to talk.” And sure, a joint email account says “trust,” but how can you say “eternal love for always?” Create a Facebook account for the both of you. It’s also a great place to post those pictures that you had taken three months after your 6th wedding anniversary!
3. Get matching tattoos because your love is forever.
It doesn’t matter where those tattoos are located. If you have visible matching tattoos, the world now knows that you are together forever. Nothing will ever end this sacred union. Hearts on your arm? A ring on your finger? His name on your forehead? Your face on his face?? Whatever way you choose to express your love, matching tattoos make it classy. Did you name your baby before the abortion? Tattoo that sucker on your hip, to forever symbolize your bond! Lose a dog in a house fire? Shoulder blade tattoos for all! Because you experience life together, and need a way to show the world that you two are in it for the long haul. The happiest couples in the world share permanent marks on their skin. It’s a known fact. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Now get that matching tattoo, you devoted sophisticates!
4. Only refer to each other as “hubby” and “the Mrs.”
Yes, when the two of you met, you had names. You were individuals. But all that pesky individuality got in the way of your true love. Now that you’ve tied the knot (heck, even if you haven’t!), you’ve earned these cutesy nicknames. Oh, your “hubby” brought home Chinese for dinner? Ah, “the Mrs.” doesn’t like to do oral? Well! These lovely terms of endearment not only prove how much the two of you are in love, but it also shows everybody that you’ve melded into one coherent mass of interests. Taking the “hubby” to the Katy Perry concert? Trying to talk “the Mrs.” into seeing that one movie with Jennifer Lawrence? And hey, let’s not stop with “hubby” and “the Mrs.” What about asking if your “little honeybear” wants some butter on her popcorn? Or if your “sweetums” has enough water? Maybe does your “booboo” need some new windshield wipers for his Kia Rio? Haha, we can feel the love from here, guys! Calm it down a little! You’re giving the rest of us diabetes! Gosh, totes adorbs.
5. Renew your wedding vows.
Maybe at one point, ”the Mrs.” wouldn’t see X-Men with you. Maybe you caught your hairdresser conditioning your “hubby’s” coarsest of hairs. Don’t think about divorce just yet! Try a vow renewal! Because after years of marriage and all those professional photographs, it’s not worth throwing your love away! Who wouldn’t want to gather to celebrate the second union of those who love nothing more than throwing their affection in our faces? Plan that vow renewal, and plan it far away. Force your friends to take time off work to celebrate with you, and of course, gifts are more than welcome! When everything goes wrong in your love life, set it right by promising to do the things you already should have been doing for each other. Don’t give up! A vow renewal wipes the slate clean. Whether it was saying no to taking out the garbage, cheating with your daughter’s student teacher, paying that student teacher $25,000 in child support even though that kid looks nothing like you, whatever! The slate is clean! When you are truly in love, you have to show everyone by saying it in front of them 14 years after you said the same stuff the first time. Except this time, you have those tattoos to keep you grounded.